Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
