I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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