She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm like, not good at living.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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