I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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