I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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