Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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