okay pat passed out under dana's car
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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