I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
