Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
