ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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