I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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