Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
