Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So here I am, sexting at work.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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