do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
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I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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