ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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