Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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