his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
