sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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