you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm just crazy horny about you
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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