In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize