i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
