I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
