i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My vagina is officially offended.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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