I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
