I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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