In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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