Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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