He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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