Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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