I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
