there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
