im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
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Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
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And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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