So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
