kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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