how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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