youre lurking in front of me
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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