You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
