I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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