she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
