..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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