I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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