There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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