forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
