it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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