dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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