Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too

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(781): i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too http://tfl.nu/262s

Replies (17) Good night (3306) Bad night (577)
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(269): View more from Michigan

We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.

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(269): We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it. http://tfl.nu/t2uq

Replies (9) Good night (3755) Bad night (618)
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(251): View more from Alabama

just found the deal breaker

(1-251): View more from Alabama

hairy back?

(251): View more from Alabama

he can't live within 1000 ft of a school

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(251): just found the deal breaker (1-251): hairy back? (251): he can't live within 1000 ft of a school http://tfl.nu/kwkd

Replies (73) Good night (990) Bad night (14322)
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(406): View more from Montana

We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.

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(406): We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase. http://tfl.nu/9rce

Replies (11) Good night (4094) Bad night (1031)
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(216): View more from Ohio

There were penises being pulled out everywhere.

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(216): There were penises being pulled out everywhere. http://tfl.nu/fw5r

Replies (17) Good night (2021) Bad night (776)
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(607): View more from New York

I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.

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(607): I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no. http://tfl.nu/p7ft

Replies (2) Good night (1364) Bad night (842)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina

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(865): it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina http://tfl.nu/yy9c

Replies (16) Good night (2251) Bad night (832)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop

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(609): You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop http://tfl.nu/nra3

Replies (7) Good night (996) Bad night (614)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals

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(573): Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals http://tfl.nu/3npx

Replies (5) Good night (733) Bad night (327)
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(760): View more from California

And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning

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(760): And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning http://tfl.nu/27ss

Replies (2) Good night (645) Bad night (251)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.

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(787): Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move. http://tfl.nu/dnyd

Replies (8) Good night (257) Bad night (635)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.

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(225): Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day. http://tfl.nu/xkaq

Replies (3) Good night (590) Bad night (233)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.

(848): View more from New Jersey

No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.

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(732): I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab. (848): No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've. http://tfl.nu/k222

Replies (6) Good night (888) Bad night (200)
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(407): View more from Florida

He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.

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(407): He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar. http://tfl.nu/i3q4

Replies (3) Good night (226) Bad night (909)
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(858): View more from California

Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"

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(858): Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick" http://tfl.nu/uds1

Replies (2) Good night (493) Bad night (243)

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