she looked like the before picture.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
