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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy

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• (813): View more from Florida

  just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't

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• (818): View more from California

  I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.

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