Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
How's work?
Spinning.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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