she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
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I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
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We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites