how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.