He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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