Texts From Last Night

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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before

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  (605): I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before http://tfl.nu/b07w
  Replies (12) Good night (5151) Bad night (1096)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.

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  (541): plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college. http://tfl.nu/eor0
  Replies (158) Good night (1169) Bad night (7349)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.

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  (313): I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god. http://tfl.nu/nh0e
  Replies (15) Good night (3198) Bad night (748)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.

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  (207): Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present. http://tfl.nu/yqaq
  Replies (21) Good night (4502) Bad night (1308)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.

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  (630): I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real. http://tfl.nu/twnp
  Replies (16) Good night (3459) Bad night (1513)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.

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  (484): I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations. http://tfl.nu/uf69
  Replies (7) Good night (3268) Bad night (824)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.

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  (602): Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table. http://tfl.nu/8dv6
  Replies (7) Good night (4384) Bad night (909)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.

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  (330): She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time. http://tfl.nu/qns1
  Replies (4) Good night (2890) Bad night (653)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.

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  (336): i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow. http://tfl.nu/uyrp
  Replies (17) Good night (2655) Bad night (850)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.

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  (847): Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy. http://tfl.nu/37ux
  Replies (13) Good night (2702) Bad night (958)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Apparently you can coat check a keg.

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  (240): Apparently you can coat check a keg. http://tfl.nu/sdmi
  Replies (4) Good night (2030) Bad night (966)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina

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  (360): 5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina http://tfl.nu/2med
  Replies (16) Good night (1975) Bad night (807)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost

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  (613): but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost http://tfl.nu/7k22
  Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (1083)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.

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  (662): He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime. http://tfl.nu/s8up
  Replies (3) Good night (300) Bad night (587)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.

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  (806): You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom. http://tfl.nu/3eq1
  Replies (1) Good night (542) Bad night (221)

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