well I can't set my house on fire every night
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It was a blind-side dick pic.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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