And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
