Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
