where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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