Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
