I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
