And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
