After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
