You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
