I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
