you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
People in love make me want to vomit
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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