Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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