Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
