shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
