Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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