so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
