They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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