on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
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What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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