Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
