Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I understand Curling. That high.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
