i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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