Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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