New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize